Now that I have returned from France I have been more confused than ever. I have been unsure about my choices, direction and purpose in my life.
As I tend to get overwhelmed with feelings and insecurity – I have been crying a lot the last month.
When I say a lot I mean I usually cry at least every other day. Usually everyday. But then there are days when I feel like things are looking up and then I don’t cry for a few days.
But then I have a reality check usually provided by someone close to me who feels the need to remind that I am still unemployed.
Like I needed that reminder.
“Everything will work out”
This is something my Nana says fairly often. Actually all the time. I think I have said it before – I do believe this to be true. But damn it is hard to make it through the crap to get to the other side.
When will everything be all worked out? Will everything ever be all worked out?
“You will spend your whole life wondering what to do with your life”
This is something my dad said to me recently. And I had never really considered that before. But maybe he is right. Maybe I will never have everything all figured out. Is that really even possible?
Maybe I just need to learn to enjoy the ride.